修改雅思作文（雅思小作文求修改！急~）很多朋友对这方面很关心，雅思无忧整理了相关文章，供大家参考，一起来看一下吧！
本文目录一览：
- 1、修改雅思作文
- 2、雅思小作文求修改！急~
- 3、雅思作文修改
修改雅思作文
呵呵，你写作好勤快啊，这个比上次那个好点。不过字数还是不够啊，差50多，错别字呢有coutries theme thier theority opion。开头转述一下可以的，break就是休假的意思，不用加rest，你的观点是承认这些活动是有利的。
论据的时候，我发现你可能是理解错了In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. 在高中毕业到大学开学之前的这段时间，不是大学期间的实践活动。
不过论据是比上次好的。
结尾段，大学更需要好的自学和交际能力是不错，但是没有和论题联系起来啊，这个和打工，外出旅游怎么联系呢？
如果你还会重写这篇，记住Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to this.你可以写，1.外出旅游。好处，拓展视野，增加见识，认识更多的朋友。坏处，会耗费经济。独自旅行会有一定危险性。2.打工，优点，挣钱，实际工作经验，如与专业相关，对大学学习有帮助，缺点，较低酬劳，辛苦。
雅思小作文求修改！急~
The first picture shows the life circle for silkworm and the second one tells the process of silk cloth making. I will illustrate the details in the subsequent paragraphs.In the first part, mother moth would lay eggs on leaves and eggs become silkworm larva which feed on mulberry leaves within ten days’ hatching. After four to six weeks, larva would make silk thread to cover them. It only takes three to eight days for them to become a cocoon. Finally, the next generation of moth will come out from cocoon after sixteen days.
In order to produce silk cloth, people would select nice cocoons first, and then put them in boiled water. Next, each cocoon would be unwound into 300-900m length of thread. Every three threads were twisted as one and dyed color or these threads were weaved into silk cloth and dyed at last.
In conclusion, this whole picture shows the complete process of production from silk thread to cloth.
我尽力了 不喜勿喷
雅思作文修改
这次就文笔和写作习惯提些意见吧。contemporary society，这种说法我是从来没在英国的任何刊物或网站上见过，在中国人写的人雅斯文章上倒是见了一大堆，一般都是modern society
a series of，感觉多余，去掉
have become controversial problems，controversial在这里不合适，意思不清楚，去掉或者换一个词
debatable issues，在这里用controversial换掉debatable倒是比较合适
whether criminals should accept education and job traning，这里不能用accept，感觉像是罪犯可以选择是否接受教育而不是我们选择是否给予他们教育，换成should be offered
Then I will give，去掉Then
the crime rate，去掉the
can alleviate，去掉can
While treating hardened criminals，把while换成meanwhile，把hardened换成habitual
will only traumatise，换成现在时
整体来说5到5.5分吧，篇幅还是偏短。
以上就是雅思无忧为大家带来的修改雅思作文（雅思小作文求修改！急~），希望能帮助到大家！
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