今天雅思无忧小编整理了雅思推荐英语电影作文 【雅思作文批改】6.5分：结尾段的语句不够精炼相关信息，希望在这方面能够更好的大家。
本文目录一览：
雅思小作文例题汇总
雅思小作文主要包括图表作文、流程图作文和地图作文，以下是一些例题汇总：图表作文：柱状图
Thechartbelowshowstheamountofwasteproducedbythreecompaniesoveraperiodof15years.
图表作文：线图
ThegraphbelowshowstheamountofmoneyspentonbooksinFrance,Germany,ItalyandAustriabetween1995and2005.
图表作文：饼图
Thechartbelowshowstherelativeproportionsofcustomers'agesforadepartmentstoreintwodifferentyears.
流程图作文
Thediagramsbelowshowthelifecycleofaspeciesoflargefishcalledthesalmon.
地图作文
Themapshowsthedevelopmentofauniversitycampusoveraperiodofsixyears.
以上这些例题，包括柱状图、线图、饼图、流程图和地图作文，都是雅思小作文的常见题型。希望考生在备考过程中，找到对应的大量练习题目和资料，进行训练和巩固。
【雅思作文批改】6.5分：结尾段的语句不够精炼
【雅思作文批改】6.5分：结尾段的语句不够精炼1、危险的运动应该被取消 ，这样的话题出现的还是比较普遍的，相对来说也比较好写，但也因为范围太广不好找切入点，这位同学写得还不错，看看他是怎样展开思路的？
作文题目：
Some people think that
dangerous sports should be banned,but others think the people should have
freedom to choose sports activities.Discuss both views and give your opinion.
作文内容：
Extreme sports are becoming
increasingly popular due to the fact that individuals nowadays are awash with
repeated daily work and want to find something exciting to do.Although a
group of people believe that the dangerous sports should be banned,I firmly
hold the opinion that people have their rights and freedom to choose sports
activities.
There is no doubt that extreme
sports may be life-threatening.Even if the security facilities have been
improved significantly compared to the past,accidents do exist.For
instance,every year there are some people getting injured or even losing
their lives in bungee jumping as a result of the loose cords or jumping from
a inappropriate place.From this perspective,it seems that in order to protect
human beings from danger,dangerous sports should be restricted.
However,doing dangerous sports is
an effective way to alleviate stress and make people cherish their
lives.Nowadays,owing to the fast flow of information,individuals live a
fast-paced life.When they finish certain works,now ones quickly flock to them
which could breed high pressure.In this circumstance,extreme sports such as
skydiving can help them get rid of the troublesome work[A1]
as they need to totally focus on
the dangerous sports,which means,they have little time to think about their
work.Moreover,people may cherish their lives more via experiencing the
frightening feelings of death.
To conclude,although extreme
sports like bungee jumping and skydiving may be life-threatening,the
probability is quite small.Also,the
dangerous activities are beneficial because they could alleviate stress and
make people cherish their lives.[A2] Therefore,they should be continued
and the authorities have the duty to make the security facilities more
reliable.
[A1]摆脱的不是工作，而是工作带来的压力，这里需要修改；
[A2]和上面的重复过多，缓解压力变相表达就是心情变得更加愉悦，可以从这个角度来改变表达方式，后者及意识的生命的宝贵，不可直接把上面的句子拿下来
各项细评：
针对问题最大的一点给出修改建议：
结尾段的语句不够精炼，这点给整篇文章拉分。希望今后不要出现结尾段直接和上面表达雷同的情况，并且表达方式可以更加灵活
附批改原图：
雅思热文
雅思G类小作文书信范文之推荐信
您好，我是专注留学考试规划和留学咨询的小钟老师。在追寻留学梦想的路上，选择合适的学校和专业，准备相关考试，都可能让人感到迷茫和困扰。作为一名有经验的留学顾问，我在此为您提供全方位的专业咨询和指导。欢迎随时提问！ 题目一：
Someone you know well is applying to a university abroad. Write a recommendation letter for him, say how you got to know him and why he is worth your recommendation.
范文：
Dear Sir or Madam,
I’m writing to recommend to you the outstanding personality and the super ability for learning of Mr. Robert Jiang.
亲爱的先生/女士：
我写信是向您推荐罗伯特•蒋先生的超凡个性与超强学习能力的。
I got to know Mr. Jiang a few years ago while I was teaching British literature to a class of English majors in which he was a student. His excellent performances on several occasions such as group discussions and open debate really took me by great surprise. Never had I met a young student speaking English so fluently and accurately. His insight into British literature as a whole as well as the perspectives he cut into the analysis of characters in the literature aroused my great curiosity about his first-class and unique capability of doing research work. Later on, upon his completion of the Bachelor degree, he moved on to pursue his study for a Master’s degree in the same field of study and I was very lucky to be his supervisor. Mr. Jiang has always been an honest person. He is very friendly to people and is very easy-going. Many of his classmates have mentioned on different occasions about how helpful he was to them and to which I simply cannot agree more.
我是几年前在给一个英语专业班级讲授英国文学时认识蒋先生的，那时他是班里的一名学生。他在比如分组讨论和公开辩论数个场合上的极佳表现确实让我暗自称奇。我从未遇到过英语讲得如此流利、准确的年青学生。他对英国文学整体的见解以及他对文学人物分
【想了解留学申请的常见问题和解决方案吗？请点击 探索更多，小钟老师随时欢迎您的咨询！】
析所切入的视角激起了我对他那一流的独特研究能力的好奇心。后来，在他完成学士学位的学习后，他继续在同一领域开始攻读硕士学位，我有幸成为他的导师。蒋先生历来诚实可信，对人友善，容易相处。他的很多同学在不同的场合提到过他的乐于助人，对此，我深表赞同。
Now Mr. Jiang is applying to your prestigious university for a chance to continue his Ph.D research. I hope you’ll find he is just as good as I’m now recommending him to be. And should you have any further questions, please feel free to contact me at the following e-mail address:……
现在，蒋先生正在向贵校提出申请，希望能够有机会前往从事他的博士学位研究。我希望您会发现他正如我所举荐他的那样好。如果您还有任何问题，请随时与我联系，我的电子邮箱是：……。
Truly yours
Kenny Gao
您真诚的
Kenny Gao
希望以上的答复能对您的留学申请有所帮助。留学的道路充满了无限可能，但选择和准备的过程可能也充满挑战。如果您有任何更详细的问题或需要进一步的协助，我强烈推荐您访问我们的留学官方网站 。在那里您可以找到更多专业的留学考试规划和留学资料以及一对一的咨询服务。我们的专业团队会全程陪伴您，助您圆梦海外学府。祝您留学申请顺利！
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