雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核,综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力,实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说,也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了雅思作文点评:老龄化快速增长的优缺点 雅思作文:替换句式搞定它,希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题,敬请关注。
雅思作文点评:老龄化快速增长的优缺点
In many countries, the number of elderly people is increasing fast. To what extent do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?
Nowadays, owning to the improvement of living condition(这里习惯用复数), people can live much longer than before, which gives rise to the fast increasing number of elderly people. Some hold that this situation will result in a series of problems, such as social burden, population expansion and so on. While others insist that it agrees the development of modern society and brings many advantages. For my part, I take the latter side with(用for) the following reasons: (74words)
点评:开头稍微写的有点长,不过内容写的还不错。属于通过分析两种不同观点,最后阐述自己观点的写法。(此种写法在雅思大作文的第一段比较常见)
美中不足的是倒数第二句的错误比较明显!while是个连词,应该连接句子与句子,所以这里前面不应该是句号。后面agree是不及物动词,不能直接加宾语。
Firstly, elder people(一会儿elderly people,一会儿又elder people,这不是自相矛盾么!!!) are the fortune of our society. They have enough experiences and capabilities which are badly lacked and needed for our youth when dealing with all sorts of problems, they can still do well in their jobs. Especially(前面应该用逗号,然后这里小写) in some professions, such as teacher, doctor, scientist and so on, sometimes (前面应该用句号,然后这里大写)age means the authority and ability. When you see a doctor, do you prefer an elderly doctor with grey hair or a youth without mustache? (77words)
Secondly, elder people(同上) are the happiness of our society. Increasing number of elderly people is also the embodiment of our improving living quality, which shows our society run(应该第三人称单数)to the right and healthy direction, we(前面句号,这里大写) have more chance and time to serve our elderly people, and it’s the happiest time of all our life to accompany with(accompany是及物动词) our parents, grandparents and great grandparents. (63words)
Finally, elderly people are the lubricant of our society. They have good temper and enough patients(应该是patience吧) to do anything, they can help us to intercede(它是不及物动词,而且主要用人作宾语) social disputes, and they make our society much more harmonious which(前面最好有个逗号)makes for the construction of harmonious society.(43words)
正文段综合点评:此篇是典型的5段式作文的写作,正文段构思出三个分论点来证明自己的观点,的确在构思上花了不少心思。但是,这里我想提的是,还是两方面都分析一下会比较好一点。特别这篇文章是问优点多还是缺点多,那么最好是缺点讲一个,然后优点再讲两个。外国人喜欢这样的辩证分析。
其次,总的来说,作者的语言还是挺流畅的。但是似乎标点有问题,该用句号的时候用逗号,改用逗号的时候用句号,这个也要扣分的!
From mentioned above, the advantages of increasing number of elderly people are obvious more than it disadvantages(典型的Chinese English.应该说there are obviously more advantages than disadvantages.). Elderly people are not the burden of our society but the source of fortune, happiness and harmony of our society.(37words)
全文总评:
尽管总的来说语言水平还是很不错的,内容也写得很充实,但缺点是语言方面还是不够细腻。此文7分。
雅思作文:替换句式搞定它!
雅思写作是否有规律可循,答案是肯定的。至少从语言上来讲,雅思考试的写作可以通过一些句型的替换来实现个人观点的陈述,完成论述过程。熟练掌握运用这些表达方式可以大大节约在考场上的时间,也可以使自己的文章能够流畅自如,从而获得高分。下面就将这些句型做一个分类总结:
提出观点
1. When asked about…, most people say… But many other people regard…as… I personally think…
当被问及对……有什么看法时,大多数人认为……但是,还有很多人认为……我个人认为……
2. When it comes to…, some people think that… Others argue that the opposite is true. There is probably some truth to both arguments, but…
涉及……这一问题,有的人认为应该……另一些人持相反意见。也许双方的观点都有一定道理,但是……
3. It is widely acknowledged that…contributed to… Experts argue that China must introduce… But I doubt whether…alone will solve the problem。
人们普遍认为……专家认为中国必须推行……但我对仅仅……就能解决问题表示怀疑。
4. An increasing number of people are joining… In reaction to the phenomenon, some say… But do they realize that…can also lead to…
越来越多的人……进入了……针对这一现象,一些人认为……但是,他们有没有意识到……也能导致……
5. One of the pressing problem facing our nation (China) today is…and…
我们国家(中国)如今面临的紧迫问题之一是……
6. Perhaps the most dangerous phenomenon gripping the nation today is…
也许当今困扰国家的最危险的现象是……
7. Never before in history has the issue of…been more evident than now。
历史上,……的问题从来没有比现在更加突出。
8. Perhaps it is time to reexamine the idea that…
也许现在是应该重新考虑……的时候了。
9. A growing number of people are beginning to realize that…is not the sole prerequisite for happiness。
越来越多的人开始意识到……并不是幸福的惟一条件。
10. Years of observing human behavior has enabled me to conclude that the major difference between…and…lies solely with…
对人们行为的多年观察使我能够得出这样的结论:……和……的主要区别仅仅在于……
11. There has been undesirable trend in recent years towards… A recent survey showed that…percent of respondents ranked…as their top priority, compared to…percent only a few years ago. Why do people fail to realize that…?
近年来出现了对社会有害的……倾向。最近的一项调查表明,……的调查对象把……作为他们的首选,相比之下,就在几年前,只有……的人这样想。为什么人们没能意识到……不一定带来幸福呢?
12. I recently read a newspaper article on… The deplorable problem of…has aroused public concern nationwide。
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